I think I'm just going to talk about what I am feeling right now: I feel like I have distanced myself a little from God. I didn't feel as happy this week, and I didn't feel close to Him. I told God that I wanted to have a mountain to climb. I wanted a mountain, so that I would be able to come back to Him. But what I've realized is that it's not a mountain that I need to climb to come back to Him. "More than anything, He wants me to feel the Spirit and obey it" (Elder Holland).
I think what I really need, and the true question that I am wanting to learn and apply is patience--patience in God's plan, and in His time. It's been a bit frustrating my lack of success with dating and with several other things. I have asked myself--"What is it about me, that is not good enough? What am I doing wrong?"
But, last Friday during the Sperry Symposium, I learned about the faithful example of Hyrum--although very sick, persecuted, and feeling alone, he perservered with patience. Although the wives of all the other men came and visited, and Mary (his wife) did not, nor did she respond to any of his letters, he prayed for his family and trusted in God. After, he learned that Mary was sick to the point of death.
My faith needs to be nurtured by diligence AND patience. As I finished my readings this morning in John, I thought of Jesus Christ: He lost everything important to man in life:
1. His claim as the Son of God was put to test repeatedly at the end of his life. "If thou art the Son of God."
2. He suffered all physical pain
3. He was abandoned by His disciples and friends.
4. Finally, God's presence left Him as He suffered on the cross.
Christ's faith and patience is astounding. I cannot comprehend it. But, I am grateful for the faith and patience that God has blessed me with. And I want to increase it, today.
I know this is not really what you asked, but the struggles that I had during studying--to find a question, to find answers, to seek revelation--all of those things are significant in blessing my life. I understand a little bit better what I have already been given. I am grateful for the answers I have received, and the Spirit I have felt, and the love of God that has been poured out upon me and upon all people. I hope that all people can come to know of those blessings. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior. He is the Savior of the world. I know that God is my loving Heavenly Father. He loves all of His children. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
