There is a way back. We can repent and come unto the Lord. This is my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen

Snow Shoveling Away the Chips in our Lives

https://www.lds.org/ensign/1985/02/grandads-snow-shovel?lang=eng

Top 10 Countdown of the Best Things I Have Learned about the Family: #10 Offer Contact Freely to Children

Parents need to offer contact freely. Many times, it is hard to understand how to treat children.
Why? A video once said that we should see children with lab coats, safety glasses and calculators. Children are always experimenting, trying to understand the situations that they are going through. Psychologically, children experience more stresses throughout their growing-up years than many adults do. Many times, they don’t even understanding how they are feeling. Therefore it is the response of parents that can greatly influence the child’s reaction or response to any situation.

One thing that I learned in my Family Relations’ class is that one of the greatest needs of children is a feeling of the sense of belonging. When children do not feel like they belong, then they resort to undue attention seeking.


Brother Williams told us a story of a children’s (infant) hospital with two wards. The first ward was experiencing more deaths and a longer recovery process. The second ward was noted to be a significantly healthier ward. The administrator’s decided that they wanted to find out the source of the problem in the first ward. Was it infection? Was it the staff? They decided to switch up the staff from one ward to the other. They tried to provide a healthier atmosphere for the first ward through cleaner practices. Yet, even with the changes, the first ward was still experiencing more deaths and longer recoveries. Then, one night, they found a potential solution. The nightly cleaning lady, who was in charge of cleaning the second ward, loved to cradle the children and babies in between her cleaning visits. She would hold them, and sing to them. They decided to switch her to the other ward. When they switched her to the other ward, the babies/children responded better and recovered quicker!
When our children are experiencing sorrow or difficulties, it is important for us to offer contact freely. One girl in our class taught us that in the first nine months we need to always go to a crying baby, so they can learn to trust in us.

In a Time Where Love "Wax(es) Cold" because of Iniquity

Chastity is more than teeth-clenching abstinence. Properly lived, it is a happy state of mind—peace of mind—which allows us to receive guidance, reassurance, and comfort for our present daily life, now as well as the future. Instead of focusing on pleasing ourselves, we can focus on serving others. (Elder Neal A. Maxwell--What is Real Love and Happiness? June 1992)
My testimony is that pure and Christlike love is the greatest solution to our dilemma today!

5 Tips to Great Parenting

What are children going through?
They psychologically experience more stress. For example:
1. Bullying
2. Increased sexual desires, but they can't use them
3. Drugs/Alcohol
4. So many other factors: body image, school, work, family problems, friend problems, etc.

It's no wonder children are so hard to understand. They have so much that is being thrown upon them, and they have so many choices to make! It's crazy but 500,000 children attempt suicide every year!

So, how can we help our children and teens out? Many times it seems that they don't listen to what we (as parents) have to say, so how can we get them to open up? What skills of parenting can we use to teach them?

I have created a list of five things that I think are important for all parents to use:

1. More important than talking and lecturing, is listening and allowing them to teach themselves. When parents actively listen to their children, (note the word active, meaning a conscious effort) they can better assess the problem by addressing their needs and not all of their failures.

2. Encouragement leads to greater growth in children. Children have a great need to feel that they are important and that they belong. We need to take time to focus on their good achievements, and their good intentions (even when their good intentions do not produce the best results)

3. Allow children to have a part in the problem prevention discussions. For example, when we establish rules for our children, we need to hear their opinions and sit down with them.

4. We need to allow them to assume responsibility. Giving children tasks and allowing them to take responsibility for their actions is an important and vital step for their progression. We must never yell or degrade them when they do what is wrong, yet we must not act as "doormats" and do nothing when they do not follow through.

5. Mutual respect is something important for children to learn. Mutual respect occurs through proper communication. Remember you cannot not communicate. Good communication is fostered through love, interest, and trust.

Fathers can and DO change the World!!!

This is my dad, Brian. He is a hero in my books. He works hard to provide for our family, he is a great example of faithfulness, and he looks for the best in all people, and in all situations. He runs, plays basketball, he skis, plays the harmonica, and is a people person. Who is your father? Why is he important to you?
I understand that not all fathers are loving and caring. I express my sorrow for those people because I know that fatherhood is such an important thing! This weekend, I studied more about fathers and I wanted to share with you my findings from one researcher, Stephanie Pappas:
1. “behavior problems, delinquency, depression, substance abuse and overall psychological adjustment are all more closely linked to dad's rejection than mom's.” (The Science of Fatherhood: Why Dads Matter)
2.“knowing that kids feel loved by their father is a better predictor of young adults' sense of well-being, of happiness, of life satisfaction than knowing about the extent to which they feel loved by their mothers.” (The Science of Fatherhood: Why Dads Matter)
3. "In 2001, the U.S. Department of Education found that kids with highly involved biological fathers were 43 percent more likely than kids without involved biological dads to earn mostly A's in school." (Pappas, 2012)
4. “In a study published in the Journal of Early Adolescence, Brigham Young University researchers found that dad's parenting style is more closely linked to whether teens will exhibit persistence than mom's parenting."
(The Science of Fatherhood: Why Dads matter)

I know fathers can change their childrens lives, for the best place for a child to learn is in the home! (Here's a great talk by Elder L. Tom Perry about fathers:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1977/10/father-your-role-your-responsibility?lang=eng

President Thomas S. Monson - The Divine Gift of Gratitude

What a great week! Needless to say, it was FILLED to the BRIM with tender mercies from a loving Heavenly Father! I am grateful for so many things, but I am especially grateful for:

1. A loving Heavenly Father

2. The atonement of His son Jesus Christ

3. An incredible family

4. The people in my ward

5. All of the amazing comforts that I enjoy!

So, I wanted to express my gratitude. "To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven." (President Joseph F. Smith)

"While there is much that is wrong in the world today, there are many things that are right and good." President Monson. I KNOW this to be true!!!

HAVE A FANTASTIC THANKSGIVING YA'LL!!!!

Conflict, and Communication Through Councils

Did you know that you are communicating even when you don't say a word? Most communication is not verbal, but rather shown through our actions, our expressions, and our tone! How can a married couple use communication to create a strong, healthy relationship?
Well, my Family Relations teacher taught us how the Brethren use effective communication in their councils. Here are their patterns.

1. The council begins by expressing affection and appreciation for each other EVEN BEFORE they offer the opening prayer.
2. They pray, invoking Heavenly Father's blessing that they may humbly learn and do His will.
3. A point of discussion is brought up, and each member of the council is given an opportunity to share his opinion. They talk and discuss until they reach a consensus. This will mean compromise and may not mean that all members will always do what they want. But they strive to do what GOD wants!
4. They end with a prayer, thanking Heavenly Father for the inspiration and guidance He gives.
5. They share refreshments (sometimes chocolates, sometimes pie!!!)

I believe that effective families should hold council meetings like that. These councils show that everyone's opinion is important, even if it be the youngest, for "God never intended that His children should stand alone." (Elder M. Russell Ballard)

These family councils may discuss many controversial topics. A good council will get right down to the roots of these problems. They may even bring about conflict, and this may be a good thing...

SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT CONFLICT IS A GOOD THING?
Well, it can be! I believe conflict led to the abolition of slave trade in England (as shown in this picture from Amazing Grace). Conflict led the pilgrims to leave Great Britain and forge a new journey in the Americas. The positive response in great conflicts has led to the greatest things in this life.

For example place your hand in between two people, palm side facing one of them, while the backside is facing the other. It is still the same hand, yet there are completely different perspectives. Married couples NEED at least some level of conflict, so they can:
1. See different perspectives. The greatest leaders and administrators do not rely solely upon their own perspectives. They know that they can learn from ANYONE and EVERYONE. That is why they are so good!
2. Gain more info. Have you ever noticed that leaving a problem untouched will just allow it to grow? Yet if it is discussed, both parties may become better educated and will have learned from the experience.
3. Become more teachable. Christ taught the parable of the sower. He taught that seeds fell into the wayside and didn't grow. He taught that others grow in stony places, and withered and died, with the heat. Yet, other seeds fell into good ground, and TOOK ROOT. Words, like seeds, can grow best in an open heart, and an open mind
4. Draw closer to each other. (Have you ever seen a family draw closer together when a family member passes away? Have you seen a family draw closer together through a tramautic experience?)
5. Find more value in each other. The best things in this life come from the greatest effort. Just as the best athletes go to extreme measures to become the best, the best families come from the most work. These families thrive in unity because they learn to live with and love each other, even with stark differences!

He Took My Licking (The Savior's Atonement)

By President Gordon B. Hinckley

The Wondrous and True Story of Christmas

I have a simple story I would like to recount. It is something of a parable. I do not have the name of the author. Perhaps it will have special interest for our children. I hope it will be a reminder for all.

“Years ago there was a little one-room schoolhouse in the mountains of Virginia where the boys were so rough that no teacher had been able to handle them.

“A young, inexperienced teacher applied, and the old director scanned him and asked: ‘Young fellow, do you know that you are asking for an awful beating? Every teacher that we have had here for years has had to take one.’

“‘I will risk it,’ he replied.

“The first day of school came, and the teacher appeared for duty. One big fellow named Tom whispered: ‘I won’t need any help with this one. I can lick him myself.’

“The teacher said, ‘Good morning, boys, we have come to conduct school.’ They yelled and made fun at the top of their voices. ‘Now, I want a good school, but I confess that I do not know how unless you help me. Suppose we have a few rules. You tell me, and I will write them on the blackboard.’

“One fellow yelled, ‘No stealing!’ Another yelled, ‘On time.’ Finally, ten rules appeared on the blackboard.

“‘Now,’ said the teacher, ‘a law is not good unless there is a penalty attached. What shall we do with one who breaks the rules?’

“‘Beat him across the back ten times without his coat on,’ came the response from the class.

“‘That is pretty severe, boys. Are you sure that you are ready to stand by it?’ Another yelled, ‘I second the motion,’ and the teacher said, ‘All right, we will live by them! Class, come to order!’

“In a day or so, ‘Big Tom’ found that his lunch had been stolen. The thief was located—a little hungry fellow, about ten years old. ‘We have found the thief and he must be punished according to your rule—ten stripes across the back. Jim, come up here!’ the teacher said.

“The little fellow, trembling, came up slowly with a big coat fastened up to his neck and pleaded, ‘Teacher, you can lick me as hard as you like, but please, don’t take my coat off!’

“‘Take your coat off,’ the teacher said. ‘You helped make the rules!’

“‘Oh, teacher, don’t make me!’ He began to unbutton, and what did the teacher see? The boy had no shirt on, and revealed a bony little crippled body.

“‘How can I whip this child?’ he thought. ‘But I must, I must do something if I am to keep this school.’ Everything was quiet as death.

“‘How come you aren’t wearing a shirt, Jim?’

“He replied, ‘My father died and my mother is very poor. I have only one shirt and she is washing it today, and I wore my brother’s big coat to keep me warm.’

“The teacher, with rod in hand, hesitated. Just then ‘Big Tom’ jumped to his feet and said, ‘Teacher, if you don’t object, I will take Jim’s licking for him.’

“‘Very well, there is a certain law that one can become a substitute for another. Are you all agreed?’

“Off came Tom’s coat, and after five strokes the rod broke! The teacher bowed his head in his hands and thought, ‘How can I finish this awful task?’ Then he heard the class sobbing, and what did he see? Little Jim had reached up and caught Tom with both arms around his neck. ‘Tom, I’m sorry that I stole your lunch, but I was awful hungry. Tom, I will love you till I die for taking my licking for me! Yes, I will love you forever!’”

To lift a phrase from this simple story, Jesus, my Redeemer, has taken “my licking for me” and yours for you.

Mountains to Climb: Dealing with Discouragement

W. C. Fields once said, “smile first thing in the morning and get it over with.”

Yet, sometimes, it may seem so hard to smile. What is there to look forward in a day? There are so many things to get us down: difficulties at work, in the news, with children, with the spouse, and to top that all off, with our own selves. Why is life so troublesome?

Yet trouble does not have to be a bad thing.  F. Scott Fitzgerald said, “trouble has no necessary connection with discouragement—discouragement has a germ of its own, as different from trouble as arthritis is different from a stiff joint” (The Crack-Up, 1945). Troubles we all have, but the “germ” of discouragement, to use Fitzgerald’s word, is not in the trouble, it is in us. Or to be more precise, I believe it is in Satan, the Prince of Darkness, the Father of Lies. And he would have it be in us. It’s frequently a small germ, hardly worth going to the Health Center for, but it will work and it will grow and it will spread.

Many times, this discouragement may creep into, or initiate itself within, the home. This is extremely dangerous because it may lead to greater problems in the future. Yet, even when the greatest challenges happen to someone, it does not give a reason for anyone to be discouraged.

 Kelly McGonigal says, "I have changed my mind about stress... People who experience a lot of stress in the previous year had a 43% increase risk of dying. But that was only true for the people that also believed that stress was harmful for your health. People who experience a lot of stress, but did not view stress as harmful were no more likely to die. In fact, they had the lowest risk of dying of anyone in the study including people who had relatively little amount of stress."

How can we deal with stress and difficulties? Elder Holland gave this counsel,

"Prepare. Plan. Work. Sacrifice. Rework. If you work hard and prepare earnestly, it will be very difficult for you to give in or give up or wear down. If you labor with faith in God and in yourself and in your future, you will have built upon a rock. Then, when the winds blow and the rains come—as surely they will—you shall not fall." (Elder Holland, For Times of Trouble, BYU Devotional, March 18, 1980)

"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." (D&C 38:30) Or how about the scout motto, "be prepared." Preparation is the 1st step. Why? One example may be the construction of a house. The first step is not to place up the walls. The first step is not even to lay the foundation. The first step begins much earlier, when each individual is trained in his/her respective field. The architect must receive a good education and be certified. He must learn how to adapt and change. In the family, regular discussions should be held to decide how and when to prepare for crises. A family must be prepared spiritually and emotionally to deal with unsuspected death, illness, unemployment, or any other family challenge. Remember: the family that prays together, stays together.

The second step is to plan. The architect will meet with the contractors and they will meet with the engineers. There is much to be considered--what type of foundation is needed? Is the ground sturdy enough to be built upon? Where are there going to be support beams? How can we be most efficient with finances and with the materials that we will be given? Planning is essential to strong marriages and families. Husband and wife should be equally involved in the finances, in parental decisions,

The third step is work. There is no replacement for work. Families will have to test and try out certain things. There will be failures. Yet work, accompanied by sacrifice, will lead to the greatest results! After all, Thomas Edison was broke financially, and his facilities burned down prior to his invention of the incandescent light bulb. He worked, and reworked, and eventually succeeded in creating something that would change the world. Will you and your family change the world for the better? You can do so, using these steps!

I heard President Spencer W. Kimball, in a session of conference, ask that God would give him mountains to climb. He said: “There are great challenges ahead of us, giant opportunities to be met. I welcome that exciting prospect and feel to say to the Lord, humbly, ‘Give me this mountain,’ give me these challenges.”

Let us climb the mountains of this world with confidence and faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ! These mountains will push and test us. But, by golly, they will strengthen and make our lives infinitely more meaningful, if we look to find joy in encountering these challenges

Meekness - A Godly Attribute

One of the challenges that our gospel doctrine teacher left us was to study and focus on an attribute for an entire week.  I chose the attribute of meekness, and I have learned so many valuable lessons!
https://www.lds.org/ensign/1983/03/meekness-a-dimension-of-true-discipleship?lang=eng

Marriage Fidelity

What is infidelity?
President Spencer W. Kimball (1962) taught that, “Marriage presupposes total
allegiance and total fidelity.”  Fidelity is loyalty, faithfulness, and love shown in its most pure form.

Infidelity is the opposite and begins with lust. “Lust is defined in the dictionary as
the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated feelings
of love or affection”  This is interesting!!  Lust is detached from feelings of love and infection; it is the opposite of Godly love, for it comes from Satan.  It is used to destroy relations and families.

In general, infidelity is seen as a sexual relation with any individual outside of marriage.  The actual definition of infidelity extends to a much broader sense.  Infidelity also may include pornography, emotional attachment to another person of the opposite gender, or any type of disloyalty in word, action, and thought.  Yes, even in our thoughts can we be disloyal to our spouses.

 President Kimball clarified this.  He warned,
“There must be no romantic interest, attention, dating, or flirtation of
any kind with anyone” outside the bounds of marriage. “Even the thought of adultery is
sinful.”

Why is there infidelity?
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for there to be infidelity in marriage.  We may ask ourselves, "If this is such a bad thing and can destroy the family, then why do many people participate in inappropriate relations outside of marriage?  This essay explains why:

"Many spouses who have engaged in infidelity reference dissatisfaction with their marriage as the reason for an affair. Research has shown that unfaithful women were especially more likely to attribute negative characteristics to their husband than unfaithful men did to their wives. Many of these women felt that their husbands no longer loved or valued them and that their affairs made up for something “missing” in their lives."


What are the effects of infidelity upon the family?
"Whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth
it destroyeth his own soul (Proverbs 6:32).”

Infidelity may not only affect the couple in which the marred relationship occurs, but it may be transposed to all members of the family, to the community, and unto all nations.  Listen to this from The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

"We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.  Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."  (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng)

How can we prevent infidelity?

1.  Keep yourself busy doing good things

Elder Maxwell (1979), while discussing temptation stated, “Temptation expands so
as to fill the time and space available to it. Keep anxiously engaged in good things, for
idleness has a way of wrongly insisting, again and again, that it is ourselves we must
think of pleasing.”
2.   President Benson (1988) counseled, “Control your thoughts.  Always pray for the power to resist temptation. If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind. If you are married, avoid being alone with members of the opposite sex whenever possible.”
3.  Be fiercely loyal to each other.  “Determine that there will never be anything that will come between you that will disrupt your marriage. Make it work. Resolve to make it work.
There is far too much of divorce, wherein hearts are broken and
sometimes lives are destroyed. Be fiercely loyal one to another.”
(Hinckley, 1999, p. 4, emphasis added).

In order for our families to achieve the happiness that was intended for us, we must learn loyalty: First and foremost to God, and second, unto our spouse.  There is no time more important, then if it is dedicated to these two individuals.  I know that this is true!

Much of this information was taken from an essay: INFIDELITY: PROTECTING OUR MARRIAGES by Scott Gardner & Christian Greiner

A Father's Perspective (Burden or Blessing?)

Recently my (ex)roommate and great friend, Ryan, was married.  I was at his sealing session, and I have never seen anything so pure and perfect in my life!  I know that marriage is eternal and can be a great blessing.  I asked him to describe his feeling, leading up to his wedding.  He said, "It was a big mixture of feelings:  I felt scared, and nervous, and happy.  I feel like those feelings that I had where I felt fear disappeared slowly, as I became closer to Kaitlyn.  Now I just feel so happy to be married!"  This fear slowly turns into happiness, if the relationship is fostered by mutual love, respect, and good wholesome communication.

However, the national trend has led many people to believe that having children can really lead to a decrease in marital satisfaction... Why is that?  I have decided to try to capture this...

(Before the birth)
As we arrived closer and closer to the date, her (my wife's) belly got bigger and bigger.  I was so excited for our first child!  I wanted him to be a daddy's boy.  These feelings of elation and excitement only intensified when I saw him at the hospital for the first time.  He was our baby!  I was excited to teach him to play basketball and go running and do boy things.  When we brought him home for the first time, I began to realize that he cried a lot.  I'm okay with that because that is what all babies do!  I am just so excited to see him, when I got home from work every day.

One week later:
I began to start to get irritated.  Firstly, with my wife, and secondly with myself.  Everyday when I got home from work, tired and expecting love and appreciation from my wife, I was met with indifference.  This child was beginning to cut me out of the picture!  I was the one who provided for him.  I worked so hard for both of them out of my love.  I began to wake up at night to its screaming voice.  The baby was sick.  I felt pity for it, being so small; yet I felt more pity for myself, as I would wake up with less than 5 hours of sleep for the past week and a half.  My wife no longer cared how I felt, that I myself was beginning to come down with sickness.  She didn't care that I could hardly stay awake at work.  That is when I decided to leave... I decided that my wife and child would be better without me.

One year later (in reflection):
That night almost one year ago, where I had almost walked out of the door, would have changed everything!  I would've been absolutely miserable.  Yet something kept me from going.  It was a feeling of responsibility and of great pride.  I needed to be there for my family!  I decided that it wasn't about me.  I sank down onto my knees and began to plead with my Heavenly Father for comfort and peace.  Immediately, I felt His comfort.  I felt peace.  More importantly, I began to understand at a very small degree what my Heavenly Father must feel.  We abandon Him daily.  We curse His name and defile His rules and commandments.  He had every reason to leave and abandon us, yet He didn't.  He doesn't!

It is because of His infinite grace.  A true father doesn't worry about his own wants or desires.  He sacrifices for his family and puts all of his knowledge and resources into them.  What is his reward?  He finds greater happiness, because his children and spouse are happy.  He finds inner peace, when he knows he has taught them correct principles.  He finds joy, when they do what is right and progress.  And he finds everlasting and eternal happiness to know that he has laid the foundation for a Celestial Marriage.  So, even though the natural man may not find joy in fatherhood, the father who follows after His Heavenly Father will find the greatest joy and greatest blessings available.  After all, a father is a divine calling... The name by which God wishes us to call Him by!

My Perspectives on Dating in Regards to Marriage

In Preparation for the Temple 

My perspectives on Dating in Regards to Marriage

WOW!!!  What a week!  There were great trials, but even greater blessings!  I feel closer to my Heavenly Father, because of everything that happened this week.  Let me explain...

This week, we began to explore the importance of dating in preparation for an eternal marriage.  Dating's purpose (in my life) is to fulfill the 3 primary roles of a father: preside, provide, and protect.  The woman's role in a date is to prepare her to fulfill her role as a mother, which is to nurture her family (spouse) in love.

What do I look for, when I go on a date?  

1. Her commitment to her Heavenly Father.  Gospel conversation will come easily when I am around her.  I will feel comfortable, knowing that I can count on her to stand for the right, and to give praise to Heavenly Father in everything.

2.  Do I feel truly happy when I am in her presence?  I begin to feel truly happy, when I feel that I am truly appreciated.  Is she interested in me?  In my family?  Does she compliment me if I try to do something well?  When I think of someone that I wish to spend the rest of my life with, I think to myself this, "When I am truly down and depressed, will she be patient with me?  Will she be encouraging and supportive?"  Marriage is a team effort, and cannot be maintained by one alone, therefore, I will look for someone who will complement me, not contrast me.

3.  Will she raise my children in righteousness?  I look to my mother for an example... My mother is willing to sacrifice all she had for us as children.  She truly cared about my well-being.  She cries with me, and she laughs with me.  I hope to find someone as committed as her!!!

I had the incredible experience to see my room roommate marry in the temple today.  It was something so pure, so undefiled, and so beautiful!  I wish all people could've seen it!!!  I believe that a Christ-centered marriage is essential to our eternal happiness.  I want to grow old and toothless with my wife, while we laugh at the simple things.  I want to teach my kids how to make a snow fort!  I will do my very best to establish an eternal family, and I know that each small step will lead me to it!

Marvin Goldstein "Popcorn Poppin"

Go and Sin No More: Same sex attraction and Gender roles

 This week, I experienced the incredible power of the Atonement, time and time again.  It led me to understand, that Christ's suffering in the Garden was much more than a physical show of His love for us.  It allows us to become clean, to become whole from our sins and iniquities.

Christ's Atonement enables those who are experiencing same-sex attraction to recover, a feat that many claim impossible.  They say, "They are born that way."  I do not believe that any child of a loving Heavenly Father is "born that way."

What causes same-gender attraction?  Many studies have shown a lack of affection shown by parents, siblings, and peers lead many to have a wounded gender identity.  "Using a nonclinical population, Tomeo, Templer, Anderson, and Kotler noted that 46% of gay men and 22% of lesbians were sexually abused as children, compared to 7% of the matched heterosexual men and 1% of the matched heterosexual woman."

Same-sex attraction increases HIV infection, substance abuse, depression and anxiety, hepatitis, STD's, prostate, testicular or colon cancer, alcohol dependence and abuse, tobacco use, and eating disorders.

There are states that now BAN gay conversion therapy: California, and Pennsylvania, leading Caleb (one who overcame same-sex attraction) to say: "banning that therapy would abuse human rights." 

The Atonement enables each son and daughter of God to reach their divine potential as a son and  a daughter respectively.  Gender differences do not contrast each other, but compliment each other!  We are reminded in the Family: A Proclamation to the World that "gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.

Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.

Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.  In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.

My belief is one in which God knows all.  He made us different so we could be happy!  We CANNOT be truly happy unless we abide by His laws and commandments: 1 being marriage between a man and a woman.  Another being the fulfillment of our roles as male and female.

I testify that these things are true and leave my testimony in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Do you remember this???

 Do you remember this? “They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime.” (Donald Trump)



WHY did he say this?  Recently, there has been a lot of discussion on the topic of immigration… illegal immigration.  “Researchers from the Pew Hispanic Center estimate that 11 million undocumented individuals currently live in the United States; a 30% increase from the 8.4 million undocumented individuals estimated in 2000.” (The Costs of Getting Ahead: Mexican Family System Changes after Immigration by Martica L. Bacallao and Paul R. Smokowski)

Why do the immigrants come?  In all societies, there are good people and bad people.  However, many of these immigrants have come with good intentions.  They want their children to receive a good education and to get ahead.  These immigrants are suffering from poverty and wish to provide for their families.  However, these immigrants face horrible circumstances that tear their families apart, rob them of their money, and cause many intergenerational problems!  Have you ever thought: many have been sent by God, so they might learn of the gospel of Jesus Christ and return to spread its good word in their own countries?

What does God have to say about this?  Remember, we are all of God’s children.  He loves all of us, and wishes for us to be happy and kind to one another.  Listen to His words:  D&C 38:26 For what man among you having twelve sons, and is no respecter of them, and they serve him obediently, and he saith unto the one: Be thou clothed in robes and sit thou here; and to the other: Be thou clothed in rags and sit thou there—and looketh upon his sons and saith I am just?
27 Behold, this I have given unto you as a parable, and it is even as I am.  I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine.

We are commanded to be one and treat each other with compassion!  We should not discriminate against or belittle any of Heavenly Father’s children, for each one has divine potential!

A warning…  The destruction of the Nephite (and Jaredite) people in The Book of Mormon came because of small and simple things.  They were “lifted up in pride” and they “began to be divided into classes.” (4 Nephi 1:24-26) “And they… (the lamanites) were taught to hate the children of Nephi from the beginning.” (verse 39)

Have we begun to develop this pride within our nation?  Are we divided because of differences in race, gender, or ethnicity?  Have we been taught by our leaders to hate our neighbors, the Mexicans?

We must begin to see people as they really are!  I know God wants all of us to share, and none of us to be “clothed in rags”, apart from the rest.  I know these things are true, and I wish to be a defender of our country, as it is a country blessed and preserved by God’s hand.

A Balancing Act

The right balance in everything, is the key to achieving success.  This week, I was continually reminded of this principle as I studied about the balance of family rules and family flexibility.  I learned that it is necessary for us to establish rules, so a family can avoid drug use, media, gangs, etc.  Too many rules can lead a child to develop disorders and insecurity about their own personal worth.

Similarly, in the United States government, we learn that too much government leads to a restriction of our fundamental rights.  It is subject to revolts and riots, and will ultimately instill a fear into the hearts of the people.  We learn that under British control, in the early years of our nation, the people were overly taxed and unable to practice all of their rights!  However, a government that is weak can lead to chaos and will be a burden to the growth of the country.

You may or may not know, but I am beginning to write a fictional novel that defends the constitution, as well as families.  I will begin to post some of my writings here on this blog!  I cannot describe how much our lives depend upon the correct balance of these 2 vital structures.

I am learning to balance my own life out, and I encourage all to do so.  1. Take a step back from your busy schedule to take an overview of the grand picture.  2.  Think, ponder, and pray to know what priorities are most important to you.  3.  Always do the best of your ability, yet acknowledge that you are imperfect and are subject to mistakes.  Do not ever quit from that which is most important!!! Fight for that which is right.

Why babies?

WOW!!! WHAT A WEEK!

I felt like I was on a caffeine rush the entire week... wake up, through food down my throat, run to class, library, class, library, then back to the apartment for homework and dinner.  More homework, then lights out... rinse and repeat.

But it was GOOD WEEK!!!  Why? (you may ask)

Once again, my family got together again... this time for my grandma's funeral.  It was very peaceful and rewarding to be around my family again.  I couldn't see why anyone wouldn't want to have a family like ours!!!  I wish to have a very large family... i tell most people that I want 10 children. 10? WAT?!?  (But I just kid, I only want 5 or 6)

Yet this week, we learned about human depopulation.  Something good right?!?  It will allow us to have more food, more resources, etc, etc.

However, studies have shown that instead of increasing these things, it will decrease.  There is a formula: population x production = gross domestic product.  Or in the English language... the more people in this country, the better the competition.  The better the competition, the more efficient we will become.  The more efficient we are, the better the economy!

There are many incredible people out in the world.  Many good fathers and many good mothers.  Yet,
"There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty?—To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can."

 - President Brigham Young

I have a testimony that families are the strongest points of protection from the world.  God needs YOU to be righteous and to provide a great atmosphere for His children to grow!  He wants all of us to return to live with Him!  I testify of these things and know that each of us "has a divine nature and destiny." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World)

I love a quote on my aunts wall in her home.  It says "God needs good people.  Go, be one." (President Monson)  This will be my resounding cry this week.  I will do all I can to be one of those good people.  I will defend the family, and prepare for my own.

Have a good week, friends and family!

Here is a copy of The Family: A Proclamation to the World
https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng

God's great plan of happiness

HELLO!!!
This week was incredible as I began a new semester @ BYU-Idaho.  It is a busy, busy life!
But what I really wanted to share, is my testimony that families can be together forever.  I feel a peace and have a great hope that death does not separate us, but can bring us closer together!  My kind and beautiful grandma (Charlotte Zarkou) left this life this past week and also left a legacy of faithful latter-day saints.  The picture in the background portrays the legacy and shows the power of this principle!  I know she is watching me and loves me and everyone in the family!  I hope to emulate her great example.