Marriage Fidelity

What is infidelity?
President Spencer W. Kimball (1962) taught that, “Marriage presupposes total
allegiance and total fidelity.”  Fidelity is loyalty, faithfulness, and love shown in its most pure form.

Infidelity is the opposite and begins with lust. “Lust is defined in the dictionary as
the strong physical desire to have sex with somebody, usually without associated feelings
of love or affection”  This is interesting!!  Lust is detached from feelings of love and infection; it is the opposite of Godly love, for it comes from Satan.  It is used to destroy relations and families.

In general, infidelity is seen as a sexual relation with any individual outside of marriage.  The actual definition of infidelity extends to a much broader sense.  Infidelity also may include pornography, emotional attachment to another person of the opposite gender, or any type of disloyalty in word, action, and thought.  Yes, even in our thoughts can we be disloyal to our spouses.

 President Kimball clarified this.  He warned,
“There must be no romantic interest, attention, dating, or flirtation of
any kind with anyone” outside the bounds of marriage. “Even the thought of adultery is
sinful.”

Why is there infidelity?
Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for there to be infidelity in marriage.  We may ask ourselves, "If this is such a bad thing and can destroy the family, then why do many people participate in inappropriate relations outside of marriage?  This essay explains why:

"Many spouses who have engaged in infidelity reference dissatisfaction with their marriage as the reason for an affair. Research has shown that unfaithful women were especially more likely to attribute negative characteristics to their husband than unfaithful men did to their wives. Many of these women felt that their husbands no longer loved or valued them and that their affairs made up for something “missing” in their lives."


What are the effects of infidelity upon the family?
"Whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth
it destroyeth his own soul (Proverbs 6:32).”

Infidelity may not only affect the couple in which the marred relationship occurs, but it may be transposed to all members of the family, to the community, and unto all nations.  Listen to this from The Family: A Proclamation to the World:

"We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.  Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets."  (https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng)

How can we prevent infidelity?

1.  Keep yourself busy doing good things

Elder Maxwell (1979), while discussing temptation stated, “Temptation expands so
as to fill the time and space available to it. Keep anxiously engaged in good things, for
idleness has a way of wrongly insisting, again and again, that it is ourselves we must
think of pleasing.”
2.   President Benson (1988) counseled, “Control your thoughts.  Always pray for the power to resist temptation. If you are married, avoid flirtations of any kind. If you are married, avoid being alone with members of the opposite sex whenever possible.”
3.  Be fiercely loyal to each other.  “Determine that there will never be anything that will come between you that will disrupt your marriage. Make it work. Resolve to make it work.
There is far too much of divorce, wherein hearts are broken and
sometimes lives are destroyed. Be fiercely loyal one to another.”
(Hinckley, 1999, p. 4, emphasis added).

In order for our families to achieve the happiness that was intended for us, we must learn loyalty: First and foremost to God, and second, unto our spouse.  There is no time more important, then if it is dedicated to these two individuals.  I know that this is true!

Much of this information was taken from an essay: INFIDELITY: PROTECTING OUR MARRIAGES by Scott Gardner & Christian Greiner