Conflict, and Communication Through Councils

Did you know that you are communicating even when you don't say a word? Most communication is not verbal, but rather shown through our actions, our expressions, and our tone! How can a married couple use communication to create a strong, healthy relationship?
Well, my Family Relations teacher taught us how the Brethren use effective communication in their councils. Here are their patterns.

1. The council begins by expressing affection and appreciation for each other EVEN BEFORE they offer the opening prayer.
2. They pray, invoking Heavenly Father's blessing that they may humbly learn and do His will.
3. A point of discussion is brought up, and each member of the council is given an opportunity to share his opinion. They talk and discuss until they reach a consensus. This will mean compromise and may not mean that all members will always do what they want. But they strive to do what GOD wants!
4. They end with a prayer, thanking Heavenly Father for the inspiration and guidance He gives.
5. They share refreshments (sometimes chocolates, sometimes pie!!!)

I believe that effective families should hold council meetings like that. These councils show that everyone's opinion is important, even if it be the youngest, for "God never intended that His children should stand alone." (Elder M. Russell Ballard)

These family councils may discuss many controversial topics. A good council will get right down to the roots of these problems. They may even bring about conflict, and this may be a good thing...

SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT CONFLICT IS A GOOD THING?
Well, it can be! I believe conflict led to the abolition of slave trade in England (as shown in this picture from Amazing Grace). Conflict led the pilgrims to leave Great Britain and forge a new journey in the Americas. The positive response in great conflicts has led to the greatest things in this life.

For example place your hand in between two people, palm side facing one of them, while the backside is facing the other. It is still the same hand, yet there are completely different perspectives. Married couples NEED at least some level of conflict, so they can:
1. See different perspectives. The greatest leaders and administrators do not rely solely upon their own perspectives. They know that they can learn from ANYONE and EVERYONE. That is why they are so good!
2. Gain more info. Have you ever noticed that leaving a problem untouched will just allow it to grow? Yet if it is discussed, both parties may become better educated and will have learned from the experience.
3. Become more teachable. Christ taught the parable of the sower. He taught that seeds fell into the wayside and didn't grow. He taught that others grow in stony places, and withered and died, with the heat. Yet, other seeds fell into good ground, and TOOK ROOT. Words, like seeds, can grow best in an open heart, and an open mind
4. Draw closer to each other. (Have you ever seen a family draw closer together when a family member passes away? Have you seen a family draw closer together through a tramautic experience?)
5. Find more value in each other. The best things in this life come from the greatest effort. Just as the best athletes go to extreme measures to become the best, the best families come from the most work. These families thrive in unity because they learn to live with and love each other, even with stark differences!